Finale Fever: Serena Blasts Back and Jack Takes a Nap

Tonight marked the last night of the TV season for shows I watch, yet I'm also just beginning to discuss the finales here. I still owe you a big post on Lost's explosive (yes, I went there) finale and the far tamer cappers on NBC Thursday, but for now I'm sticking to Monday night TV (minus How I Met Your Mother, due to DVR constraints).

For a show that's had such a messy, ADHD-plagued season as Gossip Girl has, it actually did a surprisingly good job of tying together some of the many loose threads. Remember that New Year's Eve Blair spent with annoying Uncle Jack? Here it is! Ditto Nate's easily forgettable romp with the Duchess. And Jenny's strip-tease photos. And Teenage Teacher. Gossip Girl played the great unifier for bad plotlines.

Better was how Gossip Girl had something to do besides narrate. Sure, Serena's vendetta over being called "irrelevant" was kind of silly (and most of the labels were confusing or lame anyway), but it did get back to the title of the show. And as much as I generally dislike anything to do with the mean girls, it did seem in the spirit of how the series began for Jenny to be crowned leader (but will she get to meet Jacob?)

Still, there were a few things that bugged me. First off, we've seen the Chuck and Blair "I love you" "I don't love you" scene almost as many times as we've seen Dan and Serena break up. I'm over it. Second, what's with Dan suddenly going to NYU? I assume it's because he couldn't afford Yale, but newsflash, NYU is more expensive than Yale. Maybe he got a scholarship, but it would have been nice if they explained that, or people might start believing Blair that NYU is a state school.

This year's finale was less ambitious and less disappointing than last year's, creating a solid end to a less than solid season. More importantly, the set-up for next season seems promising. Everyone's set to stay in New York except for Serena (who will stay at Brown for...2 episodes?) More Georgina messing with Blair (though a little Georgina goes a LONG way). And most intriguing, Dan's supposedly dead half-brother wants to be his new bff. Am I foolish to think Gossip Girl may be the rare teen show to avoid the college curse? Probably.

Season 7 won't go down as one of 24's greatest, but it was a consistently entertaining comeback from season 6. Which made me expect more than the bloated tearfest we got in these final two hours. I'm used to the main action ending with a half hour left to go, as that's happened every year since season 4. What I'm not used to is nothing else happening instead.

Let's start with the good stuff: Tony's only sort of evil. You knew when he asked to meet Kaaara's leader he was planning to take him down. That was even clearer when he went all Locke, asking Jack to be his Ben in killing Jacob (Lost references will not end). You knew Tony would get taken down before he could kill Wilson, but his little speech was still kind of moving, especially for how it tied together with 24 history, justifying all his good guy/bad guy flip-flops. Mostly I'm glad to see Tony survive the day, which no sort-of bad guy has done since Nina.

Once Tony was out of the picture, what was left? Mostly Olivia's rather tiresome cover-up story about indirectly ordering Jonas Hodge's hit. When I'm questioning Aaron's involvement, it's a bad sign. But hey, if it gets Olivia and the First Gentleman off the show before season 8, then I suppose it was worth it.

Then there's Kim. The writers did everything in their power to free Kim from her cougar-bait image: stabbing a guy with a pen, pulling a laptop out of an exploding car, yelling "Dammit!" She was a regular mini-Jack. Fair enough, writers. I'll stop the cougar jokes. But the last 45 minutes of the episode was mostly Jack lying in bed being read his last rites Islam-style. Better than staring off into the water after being told off by Audrey's dad? Not sure.

Finally, the torture debate. Jack gave a whole long speech about how torture is wrong but it feels so good, which I guess was suppose to make people on both sides of the aisle feel good. Or it was just there to let Freckles get her Bauer on, pulling a gun on liberal punching bag Janis to torture solo. I kind of wished she had given Janis the sleeper hold and said "Don't fight it," but what can you do. If this was meant to be a cliffhanger, it was a really lame one. I just hope it's there to set up Freckles as part of Jack's rogue torture team in New York. That is, once the magic stem cells bring him back to life.