Nip/Tuck Back to Usual Tricks

Well, that didn't take long. And by "that," I mean Nip/Tuck going from watchably mediocre to unbelievably bad, just as it always does. Last night was actually a nice primer on all the stale tricks Nip/Tuck uses to be "shocking," so let's go through it point by point. If you've never seen Nip/Tuck, this might help you see why.

Pointless Deaths
Last night, the show killed off Portia de Rossi's Olivia by having her antidepressants mix badly with anesthetics in surgery. What did this death accomplish? There was the momentary drama of Sean thinking he killed her, but that passed. It's not like anyone will be too sad to see her go. So what was the point? Well, it got her off the show. In Nip/Tuck land, that's good enough.

Crazy Women
In Nip/Tuck, all women have to be crazy. And everything has to be "shocking." So kill two birds with one stone in patient-of-the-week Roxy St. James. Her voluntary double mastectomy could have been a legit subject of discussion....or she could cut off her breast with an electric saw in the McNamara Troy waiting room. Which one do you think the writers went with?

Sean and Julia
They have broken up and made up in just about every season. When she left him after the whole dwarf-banging episode (don't ask) it seemed final. Yet here it is again with Sean's out-of-nowhere desire to get back together with her. LET IT END!

Christian and Liz
First, the show nearly validates Christian's belief that all lesbians are one good lay away from turning straight. Then it decides to actually pursue a Christian/Liz romance. I'm not sure which is worse.

Eden
She's back, and crazier than ever (see "Crazy Women" above), throwing her mother's ashes at Sean and Julia after lying that Olivia shot Julia. First off, why couldn't we just pretend that whole amnesia/shooting thing never happened? Second, shouldn't she be too busy at 90210 to come back and haunt this show? Or could they have killed Eden off too?

This Video
I'm sure the whole "white girl thinks she's black" thing might have been funny to some people in the early 2000s. But I'm pretty sure I'd find it painful in any decade:



It's only a matter of time before Nip/Tuck follows Grey's Anatomy off my DVR queue.