Premiere Week Part 1

With SOOOO many shows premiering this week, both new and returning, it's going to be awhile until I get to everything I'd like to. Possibly weeks. So in order to leave myself time to actually watch some of these shows, I'm just going to do a whole bunch of quick takes on everything I've seen so far all at once.

Glee was probably the returning show I was most looking forward to, and the premiere reminded me how much fun this show is, if also why it's often called out as problematic. Beginning with a list of all the criticisms people have made about the show, the premiere went on to exemplify one of the bigger ones: fitting 5 episodes' worth of plot into a single hour. Which is why I wouldn't say the episode itself ranks among Glee's best.

But as far as setting up the new season goes, it definitely did the job. Coach Bieste throws a whole new twist into the Schue/Sue relationship, and fun to see them working together for a change. Just about every major kid character had some kind of change: Finn getting kicked off the football team, Artie losing Tina, Rachel having to compete with newcomers, Quinn back as captain of the Cheerios, etc. New characters (Sunshine, Sam, and the new Vocal Adrenaline coach) were introduced in such a way that you got a good sense of them without them taking away from the leads. And great musical numbers combined with good Sue Sylvester lines made for a very enjoyable hour of TV.

Going right to the theme episodes next week with a Brittany Spears homage may be a bit too soon, but hey, we knew this wasn't Mad Men. Glee doesn't take its time. The important thing is that all of the fun, energy, and humor of the first season is still very much intact here in year two, and this will continue to be the show I actually watch the night it airs.

I've got a lot of pilots I still need to get to, but the one new show I know I'll be sticking with is Boardwalk Empire. Between Martin Scorsese directing and Sopranos alums running the show, the pilot had a lot to live up to. And as far as I'm concerned, it succeeded. Personally, I'm getting a little of sick of shows on HBO, AMC, and FX that take their sweet time getting to the point, making you sit through a few dreary hours before getting amazing by the fifth episode. Boardwalk Empire is not like that. There's so much action, character, and, yes, actual humor in the opener alone that this isn't just a prestige show; it's actually entertaining.

Beginning right at the beginning of Prohibition, the show centers on Nucky Thompson (Steve Buscemi), a city councilman in Atlantic City, New Jersey who puts together a bootletting operation to keep his city wet. He plays the politician by telling the temperance ladies he's one of them, then makes deals with New York (in the form of Michael Stuhlbarg's Arnold Rothstein) and Chicago (meet young Lucky Luciano and Al Capone). But just as central is Nucky's driver Jimmy (Michael Pitt), a young guy who turned down Princeton to fight in WWI, who plays the Christopher to Nucky's Tony. And at the same time, the Feds are trying to close the operation down, specifically Michael Shannon's Van Alden.

I've heard some criticism of Steve Buscemi as the leading man, and I will say I'm reserving judgement on that front. He definitely plays the part well, but as an excellent character actor he doesn't quite have the gravitas of, say, a James Gandolfini. But with so many great supporting players that may not make a difference. Michael Pitt's character is already emerging as just as much of a protagonist. And while much of the cast can be hard to distinguish as "white guys who look alike," enough stand out right away that everything should fall into place a lot earlier than in other HBO historical series like, say, Rome.

Obviously the production values of the $18 million pilot are extraordinary, and that's a reason to check it out alone. The show brings old Atlantic City to life in a big way, and the visuals are amazing to watch. You can tell the pilot was directed by Scorsese since it has the feel of his movies, which may have a lot to do with why it's so watchable. This is no dry history lesson, but a show that brings its era to life in much the same way Mad Men does, except with a lot more violence.

Given that the showrunners previously worked there, the show feels a LOT like The Sopranos, but in a good way. If you've been looking for something to fill that void, this is definitely it. And if you haven't, it's still a different enough show you might find something to like. With no other new shows breaking out as big hits the way Glee and Modern Family did last year, this seems to be it. HBO certainly thinks so, having already renewed it for a second season. If the rest of the season lives up to the promise of the pilot, we'll be seeing Boardwalk give Mad Men a scare at the Emmys next year.

How I Met Your Mother had what was pretty widely considered a weak fifth year. The showrunners are the first ones to admit that, so they wanted to step it up big time for season six. And in a lot of ways, this week's premiere showed the benefits of listening to your fans. It was a very back-to-basics episode, taking place almost entirely within the bar on a single night. Ted got to be the focus again (but not in an obnoxious way), and every character generally acted like themselves.

But while the rest of the episode was perfectly solid and enjoyable, it's the ending that makes this a great premiere and one that should re-hook any questioning fans. The show may be more of a "Friends for the 21st century" than an actual story about Ted meeting his wife, but this week brought the mother story a big step forward by revealing they meet at a wedding. The bigger surprise: Ted is the best man at the wedding! Ted doesn't know that many people. Marshall and Lily are already married. So the two most obvious guesses would be Barney or Robin. Though maybe it's Rachel Bilson marrying her new girlfriend. Why she'd chose some guy she dated for all of a minute as her best man I don't know, but she does at least she would presumably invite the mother-to-be.

Ah well, plenty of time to keep speculating. I'm certainly intrigued to find out.

Ok, catching up with some stuff from last week, Top Chef: Just Desserts premiered last Wednesday and while it's certainly not up to original flavor standards, I'd rank it above Masters. Like in the original, Desserts has contestants who really care about winning, so it's not all a good-natured lark like for the pros. The personalities are even bigger than on the regular version, so it almost feels more like Project Runway (not saying that's a good thing, just observing). But most importantly of all, there are so many delicious looking desserts that I will immediately need to run out to Crumbs after every episode. Total food porn.

If that weren't enough, everyone's favorite TC judge Gail Simmons is hosting, and Hubert Keller is supposed to show up somewhere down the line. It's hardly appointment TV, so too bad it's on during the busy fall instead of, say, the summer, where it would be exactly the right type of fluffy fun I'm looking for. But as a placeholder for real Top Chef, it works.

Finally (and STOP READING IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE TOP CHEF FINALE YET), I finally saw the Top Chef finale tonight, and somehow stayed spoiler-free beforehand. Which made me all the more shocked by the result. It was clear from the episode that Kevin's was the meal they liked best, so in that sense he deserved to win. But it wouldn't have been clear that he would be Top Chef from any other given episode this season. He always seemed like one of the chefs that was good enough to stay in but not good enough to win too much. Then again, Ed sealed his fate when he decided to delegate the entire dessert course, and Angelo was working with a pretty severe disadvantage. Kevin did seem REALLY happy about it, so it's hard to hold it against him. But he seems more like another Hosea than one of the more obvious winners.

Monday TV Tidbits

I know I've been away from the blog for awhile, but today marks a good day to check-in with plenty of TV activity. First up, NBC and Fox announced their fall schedules today, and I look at the shows I'm most excited for this fall (despite not having even watched the trailers yet). Next, what I thought was the How I Met Your Mother finale but clearly wasn't. And finally, a very action-packed Gossip Girl finale. Spoiler warnings for the latter.

Next year, the networks have some big shoes to fill with two of the biggest giants in appointment TV retiring: Lost and 24. So what are they doing to cash in on that void? From what I've seen, it appears not much. So far the upfronts have led to announcements of the typical parade of cop shows and lawyer shows (if fewer doctor shows) and nothing trying to be the next Lost. But there are a few shows that seem promising.

Undercovers - Not only the first pick-up of the season, but one of the most high-profile new shows for the fall. With JJ Abrams returning to his Alias roots by putting out a spy show, it's bound to make for a good time.

Running Wilde - Creator of Arrested Development + Will Arnett + Kerri Russell. That's enough to make it my most anticipated comedy so far.

The Event - Wondering what to watch when 24 ends? Well The Event isn't very subtle about trying to fill the void. Not only is it a thriller that features the president as a character, but it's even in 24's current timeslot. Whether it lives up to its predecessor or not, seems worth a shot.

Terra Nova - We have to wait til midseason for this one and nothing's been shot yet, but this Spielberg produced time-travel dinosaur show is the only thing that seems to be thinking on Lost's scale.

ABC, CBS, and the CW are still upcoming, so more to come later this week.

For some reason, I thought tonight was the How I Met Your Mother finale, but despite its year-in-the-making premise, it was clearly just another episode. It was fun to revisit season 4's activities, but did the movie-within-the-show have to be SO exaggerated? I know it's through Future Ted's distorted memories, but it still came off as particularly broad, especially since we were told it was instantly the 5th highest grossing movie ever. More proof that the show is getting more sitcommy with age. Still better than The Office's attempt to do a movie-within-the-show though. But revisiting the Stella arc just served as a reminder of how little Ted's had to do since then. Maybe he'll get something in the real finale.

Lastly, the Gossip Girl finale aired tonight with lots of crazy twists. It didn't seem like there was too much left to do after last week's episode, which so thoroughly tied up the William Baldwin storyline that it felt like a finale in itself. But turned out there was plenty leftover: Jenny's general craziness, Chuck's ultimatum to Blair, Dorota's pregnancy, and so on.

I have to say, for a show as ADD as Gossip Girl that typically finishes up its storylines within 3 episodes and then moves on, these last two episodes did an impressive job pulling everything together. Jenny's drugdealing, Dan and Georgina's one night stand, Jenny and Eric's early-in-the-season fight - all came back. Even Georgina's Grand Central entrance was straight out of the pilot. So while most of the episode may have been designed to shock, at least there's that.

As for the big twists: Jenny and Chuck was just icky, but at least it had some dramatic consequences. Blair banning Jenny from Manhattan was pretty bold. But still, gross. Dan and Serena - last season made everyone beyond sick of them when they broke up again and again, but the show did work best when they were together. Just no more scenes about the Bass brunch. And who knows, maybe it will make Serena seem like less of a bitch than she's been all season (and especially as of late).

Chuck getting shot: Already in interviews the writers aren't even pretending there's a chance he might die. Clearly just for cliffhanger drama. But I guess it worked. Still, biggest cliffhanger was Georgina's pregnancy. I believe it's real (though it sure looked fake), but she's still got to be up to something. Could it be Dan's brother's? Or did the show forget he exists? I certainly did. And what was up with all that stuff about Russia?

Whether any of these things lead to an improved fourth season I couldn't say, but with most of the season ranging between uneven and dull, at least the finale got my attention. With a baby, a gunshot, a pregnancy, a deflowering, and a send-off, most of the May trademarks were present. So not a bad way to start finale week.

TOP 10 TV SHOWS OF 2009

It may be 2010, but 2009, I'm not done with you yet. I've still got a few more movies to see before I can do my movie list, but here is my official list of the top 10 TV shows of 2009:

1. Glee

Not since Lost premiered in 2004 have I seen such instant devotion for a new series. From the extremely feel-good pilot last May to the immensely satisfying fall finale, Glee is easily the most enjoyable hour of TV in addition to the first successful musical program. I'd never claim it's objectively the best show on this list, with its myriad pregnancy issues and occasional cheesiness. But between the awesomeness that is Sue Sylvester and the joy of the musical numbers, I'm just having too much fun to care.

2. Dexter

It didn't seem like Dexter could ever top its first two seasons, but it at least came close this year with its most terrifying villain yet in John Lithgow's Trinity Killer. Dexter already had enough to deal with in his new marriage and newer baby while trying to remember where he stashed a recent kill. But Trinity made the drama all the sweeter, whether creating the most horrifying Thanksgiving dinner ever put to television or confronting Dexter eerily in his workplace. And in a year filled with big finales, Dexter wins for the most shocking and talked about ending.

3. Battlestar Galactica

I hope the Lost writers were taking notes, because this is how you end a show. BSG has disappointed me in the past by its regular midseason water treading, but this final season was just one big episode after another. Gaeta and Zarek's attempted coup made for two episodes of quality suspense, and the big cylon reveal episode downloaded a ton of information and answers into our brains without exploding them. But it was the pitch-perfect finale that cements its place on this list, giving the right amount of action, twists, answers, and closure we expect from a classic piece of sci-fi television. So say we all.

4. Lost

Lost's bump from the top isn't intended as a punishment, but it certainly did air its strangest season yet. The season's strongest episodes for me came at the beginning when the island jumped through time, giving glimpses of island history that put a lot of pieces together. But if the long sojourn in 1970s Dharmaville lacked the immediacy of other seasons, it did allow Sawyer to emerge as a hero and Juliet to provide him with the series' most believable romance. With the biggest clean slate of an ending the show's done yet, I don't know what the final year will bring, but I can't wait to find out.

5. Modern Family

At first glance, this so doesn't seem like a show I would watch. Why do I want to help bring back the family sitcom? Well, because it's the funniest thing on TV. With characters so instantly defined and developed, every gag's pay-off hits harder and the occasional "aww" moment works. The reason for all those Arrested Development comparisons isn't just for the dysfunctional family; it's cause that's the last time we laughed this hard.

6. Mad Men

Frustratingly and often infuriatingly, Mad Men loves the slow burn. It leaves you trudging through lame plots like Don's affair with the teacher and Betty's flirtation with the politician until you wonder why you're still watching. Then it slams you with three of the best episodes it's ever produced right at the end. From Don's emotional confession to Betty to the phenomenal JFK assassination episode to the massively entertaining caper of a finale, Mad Men earned its label as the best show on TV.

7. True Blood

I started watching True Blood over the summer, and it's easily the most fun thing to come out of HBO in a long time. Season 2 was where it went from cult fave to legitimate hit, through crazy storylines like a maenad who inspires orgies, a church that actively seeks to rid the world of vampires, and a 2000 year old vampire who looks like he's 13. The vampire craze may irritate me in almost every way imaginable, but this is one way I'm happy to indulge it.

8. Dollhouse

I'll admit upfront that Dollhouse is majorly uneven, to the point where even some hardcore Joss Whedon fans couldn't stick with it. They're missing out. Dollhouse not only has one of the coolest premises on TV, but a story that really kicked into gear with Alpha in season 1 and again with the fight against Rossum this season. With a cast that's finally starting to gel and a ridiculous amount of geek-friendly guest stars, it's a shame Dollhouse won't have the chance to become the great show it's proved more and more capable of being. But the accelerated finish sure makes these final episodes all the more riveting.

9. How I Met Your Mother

Having just hit its 100th episode in early 2010, HIMYM is showing some signs of aging, most notably with the not-so-satisfying handling of the brief Barney and Robin relationship. But the advantage of its experience is that the cast plays off each other so well that watching HIMYM really is like hanging out with your (cooler than real life) friends. I certainly wouldn't want the mother to stand in the way of my weekly trips to McLaren's.

10. Damages

In its second season, Damages got so complex that all these months later I couldn't try to tell you what happened. Something about a big company, GPS coordinates, shady FBI guys, and Darrell Hammond playing what seemed to be a gay Donald Trump. But no matter how crazy Damages gets, you can be sure of two things: Glenn Close will be fantastic, and the crazy plot twists will send your mind reeling and begging for more.

Honorable Mentions:

Better Off Ted - Which went from amusing to hilarious in its second season, and deserves a "Save This Show" campaign

30 Rock - Which may be uneven but continues to produce some very funny episodes

The Office - Which saw a huge quality comeback at the beginning of the season...only to sink back down again

Now for my TV awards:

Best Drama: Dexter

Runners-Up: Battlestar Galactica, Lost

Best Comedy: Glee

Runners-Up: Modern Family, How I Met Your Mother

Best New Show: Glee

Runners-Up: Modern Family, V

Best Actor, Drama: Michael C. Hall, Dexter

Runners-Up: Jon Hamm, Mad Men; Josh Holloway, Lost

Best Actress, Drama: Glenn Close, Damages

Runners-Up: January Jones, Mad Men; Mary McDonnell, Battlestar Galactica

Best Supporting Actor, Drama: John Lithgow, Dexter

Runners-Up: John Slattery, Mad Men; Michael Emerson, Lost

Best Supporting Actress, Drama: Jennifer Carpenter, Dexter

Runners-Up: Christina Hendricks, Mad Men; Olivia Williams, Dollhouse

Best Actor, Comedy: Matthew Morrison, Glee

Runners-Up: Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock; Danny McBride, Eastbound and Down

Best Actress, Comedy: Tina Fey, 30 Rock

Runners-Up: Toni Collette, The United States of Tara; Lea Michele, Glee

Best Supporting Actor, Comedy: Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother

Runners-Up: Ty Burrell, Modern Family; Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family

Best Supporting Actress, Comedy: Jane Lynch, Glee

Runners-Up: Portia de Rossi, Better Off Ted; Julie Bowen, Modern Family

Suits and Dolls

Tonight, How I Met Your Mother celebrated its one hundredth episode, an accomplishment all the more impressive for those of us that remember the days when the producers had to cast Britney Spears (multiple times) just to stave off cancellation. It also meant an episode that had just about everything you could want from HIMYM: Barney being awesome, a big step forward in the story of the mother, a fun cameo, and, oh yeah, NPH singing.

First up, Ted. I know he's most fans' least favorite character, but this Barney&Robin-heavy season has proved how important it is to still keep him the center of the show. A lot of us started watching the show because of episodes like "The Pineapple Incident," "Mary the Paralegal," and the wedding episodes where he met Victoria. So it's only appropriate that the 100th episode devote some time to Ted's love life. Of course it would be too obvious if Rachel Bilson turned out to be the mother, but we got a whole lot more info about her: she plays bass in a band, likes T.C. Boyle, sings songs using breakfast foods, and makes paintings with robots playing sports. Yeah, sounds like the right woman for Ted. And not to defend Future Ted too much, but every viewing of the yellow umbrella is another step in the story.

Now on to Barney. Barney faced a crisis of conscience when he found out the new "hot bartender" he wanted wouldn't go for a guy in a suit. There's a couple of obvious plotholes here. In what universe would Barney have never slept with a bartender? That's where most lotharios begin! Is McLaren's literally the only bar he goes to? And secondly, I've gotta side with Marshall here - she's definitely not hot enough to get guys lining out the door and Barney to give up his suits.

Those quibbles aside, there was tons of good Barney action tonight. We got to see him unnaturally suit-less and pawing at Marshall's jacket. The secret compartment inside the McLaren's bathroom stall where a suit was waiting. Tim Gunn as his personal tailor. And in one of my favorite bits of the night: "Wait for it...." "We know you're going to say suit." "Suit." Between that and the suits eerily telling him to "suit up," season 1 catchphrases made a big comeback.

Still, the big moment came at the end, when Barney broke out into song on the joys of suits. The other cast members may have played a minor role, but that's just fine when NPH gets to use the voice we heard and loved in Dr. Horrible and all those award shows. And the music was surprisingly good as well. Maybe not Buffy musical calibre, but pretty damn enjoyable. 100 episodes in, it's nice to see the show is still this entertaining.

On the other side of the TV longevity scale, Dollhouse won't even get a fourth as far as HIMYM already has, but its cancellation has only made the show amp up the awesomeness. For the first time I can recall, we're witnessing what would happen if a show knew it had a certain number of episodes to wrap up an entire series. As the writers are trying to condense three or four seasons into 9 episodes, every episode now feels like 6-in-1. Which explains why this past Friday's episode was such a series of escalating "oh shit" moments.

Coming out of the excellent "attic" episode from before the break, Dollhouse upped the ante by bringing back a whole bunch of MVPs, starting with Dr. Saunders, who it turns out has been living with Boyd this whole time (oh shit moment #1). Hence his coming in late and referencing "personal stuff." Those writers sure are crafty. Since my biggest problem with this season has been the lack of Whiskey, her return was a very welcome surprise.

The other big return was Summer Glau's Bennett, aka female Topher, who we learned a lot more about through flashbacks of her history with Caroline. We also learned a whole lot more about Caroline. In Caroline's season one flashback, I remember thinking, "that's it?" They had built her up as some big mysterious character, then when we saw her she was just like "I want to save animals! Woo!" Kind of a let-down. But this episode showed she was doing a little more than that. She wasn't caught after a single break-in, but after a longer campaign against Rossum that involved befriending Bennett and using her to blow up Rossum's main building. And turns out Caroline wasn't running to save herself when she left Bennett behind, but to keep Bennett's cover.

In addition to the info overload, Bennett's return meant some quality awkwardness with Topher, who managed to make his previous encounter with her seem smooth. Between the painful kissing and the constantly referencing having punched her, you'd think he was ruining his chances except she totally went for it. Which was sweet. Until Whiskey SHOT HER IN THE HEAD (oh shit moment #2)!!! Who programmed her? What's the reason? Who knows!

Well, we do by the end of the episode, when Echo as Caroline remembers meeting the two men Clyde told her were in charge. After being called up the elevator to the Director's office, she saw Clyde 2.0 (or 5.0) in the flesh. And he looked....about what you'd expect, the most benign, least threatening individual imaginable. Hardly like he was the architect of the apocalypse. Because that role was left to the real man in charge, the one who betrayed original Clyde to run Rossum single-handedly....Boyd Langton (biggest oh shit moment of the series).

Yeah, didn't see that one coming. Boyd implanted Caroline within the Dollhouse, presumably with the ability to retain multiple personalities so she could become Echo, then placed himself inside as her handler so he could protect her and keep her in place. But for what? To ensure the apocalypse, or to try to stop it? Might Boyd still be a good guy after all? Or has leading De Witt to fight against Rossum been part of some other plan we know nothing about?

Well, it would have been nice to see Dollhouse play out in a more normal and leisurely fashion, but when the speeded-up version leads to episodes this good, it's hard to complain. Final two episodes are going to be huge.

TV Midseason Preview 2010

Hey everyone, happy New Year! I know we're already a few days into 2010, but for the first Zandervision post of the year I thought it would make sense to look ahead to all of the various TV show returns, season premieres, and new shows over the next few months. Many thanks to Entertainment Weekly for essentially already doing this, and if you're curious about a show I don't watch, go there.

Scrubs and Better Off Ted (January 5th, 8-10 PM, ABC)

These shows have been airing straight through the holidays, but starting Tuesday they begin doubling up to expedite the burning-off process. While Scrubs' likely cancellation may be for the best, Better Off Ted just keeps getting funnier. Maybe think about giving it a shot before it disappears for good?

Modern Family (January 6th, 9-9:30 PM, ABC)

The funniest new show of the season returns with Benjamin Bratt guest starring as Manny's father.

How I Met Your Mother (January 11th, 8-8:30 PM, CBS)

Not only is this the date that HIMYM returns, but it also marks its 100th episode with Rachel Bilson guest starring, the promise of actually seeing the mother, and best of all, a big musical number featuring the entire cast in suits.

30 Rock (January 14th, 9-10 PM, NBC)

30 Rock returns with two episodes in a row? I want to go to there.

Archer (January 14th, 10-10:30 PM, FX, NEW SHOW)

I missed the preview during the fall, but this animated comedy for adults from some Adult Swim writers is supposed to be well worth a look.

Project Runway (January 14th, 10-11 PM, Lifetime)

If it seems soon for another season of Project Runway, it's probably to wipe away our memories of last season's disaster. But since this time it's back in New York with all judges present, I'll give it at least a few episodes.

The Golden Globe Awards (January 17th, NBC)

The awards themselves don't mean much (if they gave Nine 5 nods they clearly don't watch the movies), but Ricky Gervais as host should make for an entertaining night.

Human Target (January 17th, 8-9 PM, Fox, NEW SHOW)

A comic book based action show starring Mark Valley, Chi McBride, and Jackie Earle Haley. Sounds cool to me.

24 (January 17th & 18th, 9-11 PM & 8-10 PM, Fox)

Yes! Bauer is back, and this time in New York with a ton of new blood including Freddie Prinze Jr., Starbuck, Indian Regis Philbin from Slumdog Millionaire, and Bubba from Forrest Gump. Plus some old blood in Chloe, Renee, and President Taylor.

Life UneXpected (January 18th, 9-10 PM, The CW, NEW SHOW)

TV Guide Magazine calls it "Gilmore Girls meets Juno." Since it's about a teenager who becomes friends with her biological parents, if you like Gilmore Girls, you'll probably like this. Not my kind of show, but at least it's not yet another remake of something from the '90s

The Office (January 21st, 9-9:30 PM, NBC)

With the sale of Dunder Mifflin, maybe The Office will find yet another way to keep itself relevant in its 6th season. Just as long as they never do something like "Scott's Tots" ever again.

Dollhouse (January 22nd, 9-10 PM, Fox)

Not a return but an ending, as Dollhouse airs its series finale. Since the episode is titled "Epitaph 2," it looks like Echo and De Witt's fight against Rossum won't stop the eventual apocalypse, but we may find out what happens to everyone after tech takes over.

Caprica (January 22nd, 9-11 PM, SyFy, NEW SHOW)

If you want to get a headstart on this prequel series to Battlestar Galactica, you can catch the two-hour pilot on DVD. Having just watched it, I can say it's nowhere up to BSG quality yet and is a lot slower paced, but I still found enough cool and intriguing stuff here to want to check out the show. Seems appropriate to be premiering the night Dollhouse ends, since I could certainly use something to fill the sci-fi void.

Spartacus (January 22nd, 9-10 PM, Starz, NEW SHOW)

This attempt to essentially turn 300 into a TV show is probably far too silly for my taste, but if the idea of Lucy Lawless doing something somewhat back in the Xena realm sounds exciting, this is the show for you.

Damages (January 25th, 10-11 PM, FX)

Heading into its third season, Damages is looking to be just as complex and crazy as ever. This time the case centers on a Bernie Madoff like figure (played by original Sweeney Todd Len Cariou) and his wacky family, including wife Lily Tomlin, son Campbell Scott, and secret keeper Martin Short, in an attempt to go serious. If nothing else, Damages always wins for creative casting.

Lost (February 2nd, 9-11 PM, ABC)

Beginning its final season, Lost is easily my most anticipated return of all of 2010. Since the writers say even a single clip would give away everything, all I can say about season 6 is that Claire's back, a bunch of dead people guest star, and it's going to be awesome.

Parenthood (March 1st, 9-10 PM, NBC)

Originally slated for the fall, Parenthood intrigued me then and still does now that Lauren Graham's starring. Though does that mean I need to see the movie?

Gossip Girl (March 8th, 8-9 PM, The CW)

Why such a long break mid-season? Hopefully the writers are taking their time to come up with something good to close the season, because Dan's threesome and Tripp's bug-eyes certainly don't count. And no, neither does bringing Chuck's mom back from the dead.

V (March 30th, 10-11 PM, ABC)

It's looking like a massive ratings drop is inevitable given ABC's idiotic decision to take a long break after airing the initial four episodes. But if you keep watching, the mistake doesn't have to be fatal.

Glee (April 13th, 9-10 PM, Fox)

Another mind-bogglingly long mid-season wait, but the promise of Sue Sylvester singing and dancing makes it worthwhile. The bigger problem will be what to watch first now that Glee and Lost share a timeslot.

Gossip Girl Reality Check and Other TV Tidbits

Ok, nobody goes to Gossip Girl for anything resembling reality. A world in which high school students become paparazzi fodder for no particular reason (Serena) or believe their name should be known worldwide while being a serious business man at 18 (Chuck)? Obviously intended to be taken as the silly froth it is.

But even in the world of Gossip Girl, tonight's episode seemed extra silly. Primarily anything having to do with the Tisch cabaret. Now, portraying Tisch students as tools? Totally realistic. But as big Lady Gaga fans? That seems like a stretch. And stretching credibility too far: laughing hysterically at Dan's objectively lame Snow White/Lady Gaga musical. I'm not blaming Dan for this: he did have like 3 hours to write the thing and was doing it for Olivia/Blair. But seriously, it was like something out of a summer camp for 13-year-olds. I can't see theater kids applauding a fractured fairy tale without a heavy dose of incest, suicide, or rape.

As for the Serena/Tripp/Nate triangle, that's problematic less for credibility and more for just being stupid. It's hard to believe Serena started out as the show's main character, cause this season she's been creeping up next to Nate on the list of characters that should be voted off. And Topher-Grace-with-bugeyes (Tripp) can go with her. Speaking of which, what does Jenny have to do to get a worthwhile storyline? This week was no "I'm going to be a hipster designer and take off my clothes for a sketchy hipster photographer," but Belgian ecstasy dealer is close. I'm certainly thankful that the next episode will be a Thanksgiving one, since everyone needs some together time.

Moving over to CBS, How I Met Your Mother gave what I thought was one of its strongest episodes this season, but what do I know, I'm the one person still refusing to hate on this season. What can I say, I still enjoy even the weakest episodes. But with Barney and Robin's relationship rather quickly dispatched last week (since even I admit it wasn't working), we had Barney back to top form, and it felt good.

At times the episode felt like an advertisement for the inevitable tie-in book (will The Playbook be ready for Christmas?), but I'd buy it if it's anywhere near as awesome as some of the examples we saw tonight. After all, we got more Barney tricks and flimflams than ever before, and the Lorenzo Von Matterhorn certainly lived up to its reputation. Like last year's "The Naked Man," I have to wonder how many people will actually try some of these things. I'd certainly like to hear how far real women would listen to SNASA. And most exciting of all: next episode is titled "Slapsgiving 2: Return of the Slap." Unless Wikipedia is lying to me. Which it better not be.

Finally, as part of some recent DVR cleaning (see also: my previous entry on Nip/Tuck), I finally made it to 3 episodes of FlashForward, a show I had high hopes for but, as I wrote after the pilot, found rather disappointing. Two episodes later, little has changed. I still think it has some good ideas and a sub-Heroes-level execution. For those unfamiliar with Heroes, that means wooden acting, weak characters, and ponderous, self-important dialogue.

The former point is the most surprising, since it's got such legit actors as Joseph Fiennes (Voldemort's brother), Sony Walger (Desmond's true love Penny), and John Cho (Harold). And I will say that after three episodes, John Cho's character is the absolute only one I care about, so he gets a pass. But Joseph Fiennes seriously acts like he's starring in a spin-off of CSI: Miami. I keep expecting him to slowly take off his sunglasses.

Otherwise though I blame the writing more than the cast. I thought maybe the constant "this was my flashforward, what was your flashforward" talk might end after the pilot, but nope, it's here to stay. They say the word "flashforward" like 50 times an episode, which is a bit much when it's also the name of the show. Sure, the concept's kind of cool, but not nearly as cool as they all seem to think it is. And as Lost proved, it's the characters that make these stories worthwhile.

Now that V has come to fill the ABC sci-fi niche and to do a way better job of it (blog post to come), there's even less room for FlashForward on my queue. Which means I've FINALLY made all my decisions about what to watch and what not to this fall...right in time for midseason. But hey, with Glee, Modern Family, and V, this is one of the strongest TV seasons in a long time.

Having the Talk, Or Having Georgina

Tonight marked the beginning of premiere week, with all the Monday shows back. Since Heroes had the gall to demand 2 hours of my time right upfront, I may not get to it for awhile. For that matter, I'll probably take awhile to get to a bunch of shows from this week. But here's what I did watch.

In case you were worried about having to go too long without seeing Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother is back, and ready to deal with both of the big events of last year's finale. As most fans care far more about Barney and Robin than Ted and the Mother, the premiere spent most of its time on the former, as Lily forced them to have "the talk" and define their relationship. So far they're keeping a good balance of funny and cute, so let's hope it stays that way.

Over at Columbia (seen nicely through some exterior shots), Ted struggled with his first day as a professor, especially since he went to the wrong room. The whole nervous about what kind of professor to be thing may have been covered by Friends (though at least Ted didn't adopt a British accent), but the whole wrong room thing actually made for the funniest scene of the episode. Plus, it provided an excuse for an Indiana Jones fedora and whip (though seriously, get the whip away from Marshall).

Finally, someone help me out - did Brad seem drastically different to anyone else? IMDB confirms it's still the same actor, so what up? And I guess this means he broke up with Kara? These are important questions, people.

Ok, I promise I will not be writing about Gossip Girl weekly, cause it's really not an interesting enough show. But I said last week that we wouldn't get to see how they handled college until now, so that seemed worth mentioning.

And actually, the college parts were the best parts of the episode. Seeing as there were no frats and people sat around watching a movie, Gossip Girl is already doing a more realistic depiction of college than most shows (ie Saved by the Bell). Most of the fun was in the Blair/Georgina fight. Blair's always best when she has a target, and Georgina is a whole lot more fun to war with than Teenage Teacher. But Georgina and Dan? I disapprove.

As for the rest of the episode: Serena acted generally bitchy around everyone and decided not to go to Brown cause, you know, it's not in New York, and that would complicate the show. She's annoying me. Nate spent a day in bed when he should have been at Columbia orientation (and then I would have gotten a double dose of Columbia tonight. Way to ruin everything, Nate). Chuck has somehow become the most responsible character on the show. Lily (and now Jenny) is still MIA. And the Ice Truck Killer continues to get creepier, this time by freaking out over a bad professor (or is it proffesor?) recommendation. Guessing that means he didn't go to NYU summer school. Too busy camping outside Dan's loft with binoculars?

So now Dan's got both a stalker half-brother and Georgina after him. He better watch his back.

Fall TV Preview

As enjoyable as summer TV could be, this week begins the process us TV junkies have been waiting for: Fall TV Season, when all of our favorite shows come back from their summer vacations to come entertain us once more. If you want to know when CSI and Grey's Anatomy come back, look elsewhere. If you want to know what I'll be watching, read on.

Glee (September 9th, 9-10 PM, Fox, NEW SHOW)

If you saw the pilot last May (and if you haven't, do it now), you know this is heading into the fall as frontrunner for best new show. As hard as that performance of "Don't Stop Believing" may be to top, the news that there will be 2 soundtracks in 2009 alone to cover all the songs leaves me very hopeful.

Gossip Girl (September 14th, 9-10 PM, The CW)

Will Gossip Girl avoid the college curse that's plagued every high school show ever? Since we never actually saw them in high school, and NYU barely counts as college, they stand as good a chance as anyone. Just as long as it's not another season of "omg Blair & Chuck 4eva omg."

The Office (September 17th, 9-9:30 PM, NBC)

Jim and Pam get married! Other than that, we'll really see the writers' creativity in keeping this show going into its sixth(!) season.

Community (September 17th, 9:30-10 PM, NBC, NEW SHOW)

A chance to see Joel McHale do something other than make fun of Speidi/Ryan Seacrest/Miley? I'm so there (as long as I can still get my weekly Soup fixings on Friday).

Curb Your Enthusiasm (September 20th, 9-9:30 PM, HBO)

This show's still on? After however many seasons, Larry David's found a surefire way to get people to watch: Seinfeld reunion! Guess he wins, cause I'll be watching.

Bored to Death (September 20th, 9:30-10 PM, HBO, NEW SHOW)

Sure, it's cool that the cast consists of Jason Schwartzman, Ted Danson, and The Hangover's Zach Galifinokusableskiver (maybe someday I'll learn his name, but today is not that day). But the real reason I'm excited? The theme song. Wouldn't be the first time I watched a show just for its theme song (that would be Angel).

How I Met Your Mother (September 21st, 8-8:30 PM, CBS)

Barney & Robin! Ted's at Columbia! The mother's in his class! 100th episode musical spectacular! All of which suggests this season will be legen - wait for it...

Heroes (September 21st, 8-9 PM, NBC)

I know I wrote a whole post on how Heroes' fourth volume wasn't as bad as everyone said, but that doesn't mean I'm actually looking forward to the new season. It's go big or go home time for Heroes, cause I don't think anyone will put up with another year of coasting by.

...dary! Legendary!

The Good Wife (September 22nd, 10-11 PM, CBS, NEW SHOW)

This so doesn't seem like my kind of show, but critics seem to be enjoying it. And there's absolutely nothing else AT ALL on Tuesday nights. So maybe I'll check it out? We'll see.

Modern Family (September 23rd, 9-9:30 PM, ABC, NEW SHOW)

Count this as another one the critics (may or may not) have convinced me to watch. Sounds like a pretty standard family sitcom to me, but supposedly it's hilarious. Maybe I should actually watch a promo...

Cougar Town (September 23rd, 9:30-10 PM, ABC, NEW SHOW)

Ok, promos aren't going to help on this one, but it's Bill Lawrence! The Scrubs man himself! So I've got to at least give it a try.

Flash Forward (September 24th, 8-9 PM, ABC, NEW SHOW)

People keep calling it "the next Lost", thinking it will fool all of us die-hard Lost fans into watching. They're right. I can't wait. Whether it lasts past the pilot to become a great series or suffers The Nine syndrome (which many critics fear), at least it won't be an NCIS spin-off.

Dollhouse (September 25th, 9-10 PM, Fox)

Yes! After getting hooked this summer, this is one of my most anticipated returning shows. Adding to my excitement is their decision to go all-out geek this year, with guest/recurring roles by BSG's Apollo and Colonel Tigh, Summer Glau of Firefly fame, and Buffy and Angel's Alexis Denisof (aka Mr. Alyson Hannigan). Now we just need to get Amy Acker's show canceled so we can have our Whiskey back.

Saturday Night Live (September 26th, 11:30 PM-1 AM, NBC)

New girls were cast. Other girls were kicked off. Still nobody can do a decent Obama.

The Cleveland Show (September 27th, 8:30-9 PM, Fox, NEW SHOW)

Even though I no longer regularly watch Family Guy, I'd still like to give the spin-off a look. Can't be as bad as American Dad, right?

Dexter (September 27th, 9-10 PM, Showtime)

Yes! My #1 most anticipated show of the fall. No matter what the storylines, I'm always happy to watch Dexter, Deb, Rita, and the rest. And with John Lithgow's Trinity Killer, the return of FBI Agent Lundy, and domesticated Dexter now married with a baby, this season should up the watercooler factor even further.

South Park (October 7th, 10-10:30 PM, Comedy Central)

South Park likes to alternate between smart, satirical humor and stupid, gross humor. While the former may be less than 25% of the show, it's good enough that I trudge through the rest.

30 Rock (October 15th, 9:30-10 PM, NBC)

Why does NBC keep holding 30 Rock back a month? If season 4 starts better than last year's guest star marathon, I'll forgive them.

V (November 3rd, 8-9 PM, ABC, NEW SHOW)

Juliet vs. aliens? What's not to love? It's like a preview to the Lost series finale (I'm kidding....I hope).

So that's what I'm looking forward to. How about you? What new shows are you most excited to try, what returning favorites have left you in suspense all summer, and what shows are finally getting kicked off your DVR? That's what the comments are for.

Comedy Finale Catch-Up

Of the three comedy finales I watched, How I Met Your Mother wins for finding the right balance of funny and season-ending satisfaction. In fact, that balance was best exemplified by Barney and Robin. Since their first hook-up last season, there's always been the danger the writers would cave in to shipper pressure and let that dominate the show. But between coining "The Mosby" as a way to lose someone's interest in 10 seconds and all the flip-flopping of feelings between them, it was funny, true to the characters, and had the result everyone wanted.

The goat was of course completely anticlimactic, after being hyped up since season 1 and especially in "The Goat" last season. Since Ted had already told most of the story, there wasn't too much more for it to do than...well...chew Robin's washclothes. Oh, and send Ted to the hospital for the second finale in a row. Frankly, there was enough else going on in this episode I'm glad the goat was allowed to do its part without stealing too much attention.

Attention from what? How about the biggest clue to the mother yet? Namely, that Ted's future wife is an architecture student in his class at Columbia (Ted going after one of his students? Barney must be involved in this somehow). So Ted met the mother because Tony got him the professor job, and THAT'S why his run-in with Stella was so important. All right, I'll accept that. And we got a nice twist to ponder heading into next year.


Moving on to The Office, a show that more and more is shooting for the warm fuzzies instead of the funny bone. The finale saw the very welcome return of Amy Ryan's Holly, who single-handedly kept the show moving through the first part of this season, and she continued to elevate Michael in every scene they shared. Their torture-filled, intel-dropping take-off on Slumdog Millionaire was certainly a high point for the episode, but their story was more about Michael's "soulmate" speech at the end. Still, gotta be relieved he didn't do any of the number of inappropriate things I was expecting throughout the episode.

The other couple playing cute was of course Jim and Pam, who got some special news at episode's end. I guess this was supposed to be the big end-of-season reveal, but was it really so shocking? This season has shown Jim and Pam go from one life cycle moment to the next. Getting engaged, buying a house, getting pregnant, it's all so...normal. We get that Jim and Pam are a happy, well-adjusted couple, and it's great that a show is finally showing that on TV. But do they have to prove the rule that normal couples are boring? Jim and Pam played the cute card way too many times this season. It's time they go back to being funny.

This was a step up from most of season 5's episodes, but I can't help noticing how poorly it holds up to finales in years past (not counting season 1, of course). Season 2 had Jim and Pam's first kiss, season 3 had Ryan get the corporate job, and season 4 had the introduction of Holly and Jim's botched proposal. After 5 seasons and 100 episodes, The Office is starting to run out of ideas. Maybe it should take some advice from its 12-episode-and-a-movie predecessor and bow out while the show's still good.

Unlike the other comedies on this post, 30 Rock has never tried for particularly ambitious finales. Now, I know that seems weird to say about a show that brought in Elaine Stritch as Jack's mom in season 1, saw Jack join the Bush administration with Matthew Broderick in season 2, and had half of the music industry guest star for season 3. But given the way 30 Rock spent its season, stunt casting is hardly anything unusual.

So I feel like this finale, which only addressed issues raised in the previous episode, should be judged not on finale standards but as any other 30 Rock episode would be. And in that respect, it did just fine. Love Alan Alda and his scenes with Jack. Already can't remember anything else about the episode. As for the "Kidney, Now" benefit song? I had hoped it would be funnier. So it was a fine end to a fine season, not living up to the highs of "el generalissimo" nor falling to the lows of Steve Martin's episode.

The Private Practice Curse and Other TV Catch-Up

We heard the rumors that the CW had already passed on its Lily in the 80s themed Gossip Girl spin-off, and now we know why. Having just watched Monday's backdoor pilot (moving put me behind on TV, and no, I can't explain how I'm caught up on Gossip Girl but not on Lost), it seems that this is the worst potential spin-off since Private Practice.

Ok, this is probably the only spin-off since Private Practice. But think of all the similarities: a female character we like on the original show (Lily/Addison) goes into a spin-off and suddenly becomes a babbling, annoying mess (see: Lily's prostitute speech). The dialogue is uniformly horrible ("This is the part where you fall in love with me. It is, isn't it? You totally are." Guess what? We're not.) And the whole episode you just got annoyed every time they cut away from the original show.

I mean, come on, why would they put the crappy spin-off on the same week as the prom? Prom led to Buffy and Angel dancing to "Wild Horses" and the Sam/Cindy "Come Sail Away" dance on Freaks and Geeks (not prom, but still a high school dance). And in the few minutes not spent making us forget why we usually like Brittany Snow and demonstrating Cynthia Watros' horrible impression of adult Lily as CeCe, what did we get? Chuck finding new levels of softness planning Blair's prom. One step closer to becoming the guy from Twilight. Let's make a deal: we forget the spin-off was ever suggested, and you go back to making good episodes that focus on the kids. K?


Speaking of things related to Private Practice, I stopped watching Grey's Anatomy back in January somewhere along the ghost Denny storyline. But I happened to catch the last 5 minutes of tonight's finale, and (SPOILER ALERT) I couldn't help but notice it ended with Izzy and George about to board an elevator to heaven. Let's put aside the fact that this seems cribbed straight from Six Feet Under's second season-ender with Nate stepping up to the death bus, and just look at how sad this whole situation is.

Obviously, they know we know both actors want off the show. So either they're setting the actors free, or using real-life info to artificially build suspense. I have no idea what happened to George or any context, but the whole situation still bothers me. They're 2 of the 5 original interns, and without them Grey's is just a crappier, soapier version of ER. And couldn't they find a way to write them out that didn't involve super dramatic season finale cliffhanger death? So I found it sad, not for the intentional drama, but for remembering what the show once was.


On a more positive note, How I Met Your Mother has become more must-see than ever, now that they're talking about zooming in on the identity of the mother. I'm not sure how the whole Ted/Stella/Tony drama from Monday's episode plays into the overall story, but I do know a. next year's finale will involve Tony's movie about their love triangle, b. Barney's porn version of avoiding a speeding ticket was awesome, c. murder house, and d. Let's Go to the Mall ringtone.

Did We Meet the Mother?

At the end of last night's How I Met Your Mother, my first thought was "Holy shit! Stella's the Mother!"

Then I thought about it and realized that doesn't make sense. When Stella left Ted at the altar, Future Ted made it very clear that Stella was not the Mother, even going so far as to show the blonde children he and Stella would have produced. Since Stella is still clearly blonde, the years-old stock footage of Ted's children (seriously, it's the same shot every time) cannot be her doing.

So where does that leave us? With the yellow umbrella. We know the Mother left it at a bar on St. Patrick's Day where Ted grabbed it the next day while looking for his phone. We also know Stella was at the same bar that night, and might happen to know the umbrella's owner. Could it be the extra Ted said hi to in an otherwise unnecessary moment? Do I watch this show way too closely?

I do know that I certainly was not expecting an answer to the series' titular mystery when I sat down to watch this week's episode. So, assuming Stella is not the Mother, we will have a little bit of build-up rather than an out-of-nowhere "so here's the mother" episode. And I still maintain that the show can continue after we find out her identity, just as long as they cast someone good enough to become a 6th cast member on the show.

Even with the unexpected ending, best part of the episode still goes to Marshall's chart addiction. Not only did he make a "Cecilia" themed Ven diagram, but we got a reference to my fave season 4 ep, "Intervention." Referencing a previous episode with no explanation for non-fans? We're entering Arrested Development territory here, and I like it. Maybe slap #4 will be coming up soon.

Recession TV

In an odd coincidence, two of my favorite comedies this week featured a major character starting his own company after being laid off (or in The Office's case, stupidly resigning). Now, I'm surprised it's taken The Office this long to acknowledge the economy, seeing as how the British show revolved around redundancies (such a nicer word for lay-offs). But in the battle of the recession-set comedies, I give the prize to How I Met Your Mother.

Even before the writers knew about the market crash, this season of HIMYM has been all about unemployment. The season started out with Marshall unemployed, moved into Robin's near deportation after quitting her job, and now it's Ted's turn, laid off after his Goliath National Bank project was canceled due to, you guessed it, the bad economy.

But while the show's had plenty to say about unemployment, last night's episode showed it had even wiser things to say about how to keep your job. Watch and learn:



This storyline had the biggest laughs of the night, but I think it's because it made an odd kind of sense. Who would fire "the food guy?" So all you i-bankers out there fortunate enough to still have jobs, best think about what kind of "guy" you want to be. If you need help, there's always the wolverine claws.


But back to my original point: Mosbius Designs vs. The Michael Scott Paper Company. Both tackled similar themes - unpreparedness, fear of failure - but I still found Ted's venture funnier. I think part of it is that all Ted needs to continue being an architect is clients. While as for Michael, I kept asking "where is he getting the paper from?" Also Ted is a fairly responsible guy, even if occasionally "douche"-prone and procrastinating. While Michael is....Michael Scott.

I guess what it comes down to is that while both shows have one foot planted in reality, HIMYM seems better able to spin that relatibility into humor, while in The Office, it's sometimes just sad. Plus, Ted didn't drag anyone into his company the way Pam is trapped in Michael's. Except for PJ. But he had his break-up/firing coming. I may have more faith in Mosbius Designs than the Michael Scott Paper Company, but both proved relevant TV can still be funny.

The Best Morning Show You Didn't See

For a good third of How I Met Your Mother this week, I admit I had some difficulty paying attention. It's certainly not that the main plot wasn't good. After all, it brought us the Suitjama (a suit you can sleep in), the Nightshirt (a nightgown for men), and Marshall's Big Lebowski-style dream flight over the city. Oh, and Barney's porn fantasy to justify the Suitjama.

No, the reason for my distraction was Robin's thoroughly awesome morning show left on mute during Ted's argument with Lily. The gang chose a bad morning not to watch. Not only did Robin show off their picture (and cry), but she also assisted a chef who caught on fire, gave her coanchor CPR after he collapsed, and delivered her very pregnant guest's baby. Karen struck again, this time not by cheating on Ted but causing him to miss all the excitement.

Speaking of Karen, she's already gone after just 2 episodes, which seems a strange number for a guest star. Her douchiness, to stick with Marshall and Lily's description, was a good gag for one episode, but that alone wouldn't last longer. So when she and Ted stayed together after last week's episode, I figured there was something else there. But no, just the rather sudden departure. Strange, but better to leave now than overstay her welcome. Now I'm gonna suitjama up and head to bed.

Best Resume Ever

Last night's How I Met Your Mother provided a useful lesson on how to get a job, courtesy of guru-of-all-things Barney Stinson. Instead of qualifications or experience, all you need is some quality time with Final Cut. If you're having trouble getting a job, perhaps a look at Barney's resume will show you what you're doing wrong:

Is HIMYM Trying Too Hard to Be Seinfeld?

As a show about people living in New York that coins the odd zeitgeist-friendly expression from time to time, How I Met Your Mother has always courted comparisons with Seinfeld. But with both of the major storylines from tonight's episode stemming directly from its 90s predecessor, has my favorite sitcom gone too far?

In Plot A, exes Ted and Robin start sleeping together as friends. Hey, didn't Jerry and Elaine try that too? They sure did, and it all ended very badly with Jerry giving Elaine money for her birthday. But HIMYM finds a nice twist to the set-up. Someone does get hurt, but it's not Ted or Robin. That would be Barney, who smashes expensive TVs and talks about it to a group of kindergarteners before Ted finds out his secret. That twist, along with Barney's general level of awesomeness, keeps this out of straight-out rip-off territory.

But as for Marshall's quest to sneak off to the bathroom at work, he might as well be shouting "yadda yadda yadda." The whole "reading a magazine" euphism was an unsubtle wink to "master of my domain" in Seinfeld's most famous episode. But, and I'm sorry guys, saying it fifty times in three minutes doesn't make it suddenly funny. Seinfeld needed its euphisms due to network censoring, which the audience knew. Here the humor of "reading a magazine" is "Euphisms are funny!" It does pay off when Barney says, "We're talking about masturbation, right?" going where Seinfeld couldn't. How far TV has come.

Oh, and as for those magazines, those reality star guest spots have been hyped up by gossip rags for months, yet were fairly forgettable within the episode. Boosting ratings with high-profile guest stars without letting it have any effect on the quality of the show? Way to go HIMYM writers, you are wise indeed.

TOP 10 TV SHOWS OF 2008

2008 was not a strong year for TV. The writer's strike nearly destroyed the spring season and left the fall season with no new shows worth putting on my list. But those shouting that this Golden Age of Television is over are a bit premature, as I've got ten shows right here that prove TV is doing just fine. Here are my top 10 TV shows of 2008 and my 2008 TV awards:

1. Lost
Lost may always top my top 10 list, but rarely has it deserved the spot so much. This season Lost found the perfect balance between mythology and character. For every Ghost Christian in a cabin, there was a heartwarming phone call between Desmond and Penny and a personal tragedy for Ben. Lost also finally figured out how to bring in new characters, teasing Faraday and Co. without letting them take over. Just as last year's finale changed the game with flashforwards, this season's final scene left a freighter full of questions. Who's alive? Who's dead? Who cares! Being confused has never been this exciting, and I can't wait until January 21st.

2. Mad Men
Mad Men's first season was hard to top, bringing us into the world of 1960s advertising and the life of the mysterious Don Draper. Season 2 started slow, with a new copier and the insufferable Barretts. But every story served its purpose by the end. Peggy had a great season, moving up the creative chain while hiding her secret until a heartbreaking scene with Pete. Betty became a whole new person after kicking Don out. Even minor characters like Duck Phillips and Freddy Rumsen got episodes to shine. By the time the Cuban Missile Crisis hit in the explosive finale, it was clear Mad Men is no one season wonder.

3. Dexter
Season 1 was the hunt for the Ice Truck Killer. Season 2 saw Dexter hunted. Season 3 was...the friendship of Dexter and Miguel Prado? Doesn’t sound quite as cool. Yet as their relationship shifted from best friends to student and teacher to enemies, their psychological games created all the suspense needed. It helps that Jimmy Smits was able to play both charismatic and deranged so fantastically. Who cares if the IA girl was annoying or the Skinner plot didn’t satisfy? The Dexter/Miguel face-off, along with Dexter’s shift to family man, made season 3 must-see TV.

4. How I Met Your Mother
It may have seemed like a Friends rip-off at first, but How I Met Your Mother quietly became the best comedy on TV. HIMYM came back from the writer’s strike with nearly a full season of episodes. And good ones, too. Like Ted’s very sweet two-minute date for Stella. And Robin Sparkles’ hilarious break-up ballad “Sandcastles in the Sand.” Plus, Neil Patrick Harris’ Barney Stinson may be the single best character on TV. Season 4 got a bit more serious with everyone looking to the future. But whether the gang is addicted to interventions or singing “Let’s Go to the Mall” karaoke in a Canadian bar, the show is consistently legen – wait for it – dary.

5. Pushing Daisies
The fact that the most innovative comic fantasy on TV has been canceled is sad. But the fact that it got canceled just when it was getting so good makes it tragic. Pushing Daisies has done procedural better than CBS since day 1, with crimes involving a comfort food bake-off, gambling with Chinese food, and magicians. But with the arrival of the mysterious and deadly Dwight Dixon, the serial element kicked in just as strong. The last episode, which saw the gang covering up a murder from Norwegian detectives, was as suspenseful as anything on Dexter. With one hell of a cliffhanger, it will be a long wait until those final three episodes air.

6. The Daily Show/The Colbert Report
The presidential election was the TV event of the year, and Comedy Central was the place to watch it. From the primaries to the transition, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert had more insight than any of the real news networks. On The Daily Show, Stewart brought out all the ridiculousness and hypocrisy of the campaign to hilarious effect. On The Colbert Report, Colbert personified said ridiculousness and hypocrisy. Both of them had their best material since, well, Indecision 2004.

7. Top Chef
Top Chef is my favorite reality show for combining two great things: food and competition. I may not get to taste anything the chefs make, but it all sure looks good. Season 4 had some of the most talented chefs yet, as Richard, Dale, Antonia, and Andrew all had a decent shot. But it was still satisfying to see the very deserving Stephanie become the first female Top Chef. This season has seen a number of early stand-outs while taking full advantage of the New York setting. Top Chef makes it on because unlike in most reality shows, talent wins out over drama.

8. 30 Rock
Tina Fey's Sarah Palin impersonation may have made her the Comedienne of the Year, but she brought the funny just as hard in her day job, as writer/star of 30 Rock. Her Liz Lemon has gone from best straight-man to straight-out funny as the show has gone on. But best is still Alec Baldwin's Jack Donaghy. From greenlighting "MILF Island" to working for the Bush administration, Jack always gets the funniest stories. Throw in Will Arnett in a hilarious recurring part, and I'm starting to understand why critics love 30 Rock so.

9. Battlestar Galactica
Despite the jaw-dropping reveal of four secret Cylons in season 3's finale, season 4 had a rough start. First there was Crazy Kara yelling, "WE'RE GOING THE WRONG WAAAAAAY!" Then there was Chief shaving his head. But somewhere around the midpoint of the season, BSG got awesome again. There was the Cylon civil war (badass), President Roslin's visions (creepy), and finally the landing on Earth (really creepy). I have no idea where this final season is going, but I know it will be frakking amazing.

10. The Office
In 2008, The Office showed its age. It put out a weak slew of episodes after the writer's strike and similarly dropped the ball after Amy Ryan's Holly was transferred back to New Hampshire. But when Amy Ryan was onscreen, The Office was often season 3 level good. The idea of a perfect woman for Michael is so mind-boggling that the joke never got old. From insulting Toby to beatboxing for Michael's lame rap, Holly's presence made everyone around her funnier. The Office needs her to transfer back, stat.

Now for my TV Awards:

Best Drama: Lost
Runners-Up: Mad Men, Dexter

Best Actor, Drama: Michael C. Hall (Dexter), Dexter
Runners-Up: Jon Hamm (Don), Mad Men; Bryan Cranston (Walt), Breaking Bad

Best Actress, Drama: January Jones (Betty), Mad Men
Runner-Up: Mary McDonnell (President Roslin), Battlestar Galactica

Best Supporting Actor, Drama: Michael Emerson (Ben), Lost
Runners-Up: Jimmy Smits (Miguel), Dexter; Vincent Kartheiser (Pete), Mad Men

Best Supporting Actress, Drama: Elisabeth Moss (Peggy), Mad Men
Runners-Up: Christina Hendricks (Joan), Mad Men; Jennifer Carpenter (Deb), Dexter

Best Comedy: How I Met Your Mother
Runners-Up: Pushing Daisies, 30 Rock

Best Actor, Comedy: Alec Baldwin (Jack), 30 Rock
Runners-Up: Lee Pace (Ned), Pushing Daisies; Steve Carell (Michael), The Office

Best Actress, Comedy: Tina Fey (Liz), 30 Rock
Runners-Up: Anna Friel (Chuck), Pushing Daisies; Mary-Louise Parker (Nancy), Weeds

Best Supporting Actor, Comedy: Neil Patrick Harris (Barney), How I Met Your Mother
Runners-Up: Chi McBride (Emerson), Pushing Daisies; Justin Kirk (Andy), Weeds

Best Supporting Actress, Comedy: Amy Ryan (Holly), The Office
Runners-Up: Kristin Chenowith (Olive), Pushing Daisies; Jenna Fischer (Pam), The Office

Midseason Preview

2009 may have just begun, but the TV midseason isn't wasting time, beginning on January 5th. I'll help you figure out when my favorite returning shows come back and what new shows may be worth considering.

Gossip Girl (January 5th, 8-9 PM, the CW)
When we last saw the Upper East Siders, Chuck was a mess over his father's death. This week introduces his Uncle Jack, played by Desmond Harrington (Quinn from Dexter). Elsewhere, Jenny finally goes back to school, but no word on whether she'll start looking human again.

Scrubs (January 6th, 9-10 PM, ABC)
Now on ABC, Scrubs is back for its (probably) final season, starting with two episodes. The season starts with Courtney Cox as the new Chief of Medicine and, judging by the promos, awkward facial hair for JD. There's also a Hawaiin wedding for Janitor later this season.

Nip/Tuck (January 6th, 10-11 PM, FX)
At the end of last season, Sean was stabbed by his crazy fake-publicist Colleen Rose and Julia was shot by her girlfriend's crazy daughter Eden and was left with amnesia. Eden should hopefully be gone, given that her portrayor (Annalynne McCord) is now on 90210, but Colleen is definitely back. No word on how long they'll continue the never-successful amnesia device, but don't expect a creative comeback anytime soon.

Top Chef (January 7th, 10-11 PM, Bravo)
Season 5 returns with new judge Toby Young (author of How to Lose Friends and Alienate People), and two chefs will be eliminated.

Damages (January 7th, 10-11 PM, FX)
Damages tries to top season 1 with a boatload of top-tier new cast members like William Hurt, Marcia Gay Harden, and Timothy Olymphant. After settling the Frobisher (Ted Danson) case, Patty Hewes (Glenn Close) is moving on. When a whistle blower (Hurt) tells of her of shady practices coming from his company, it seems she's got her next case. Meanwhile, Ellen (Rose Byrne) works with the FBI to bring Patty down, and Frobisher survives his shooting to come back for more mischief.

30 Rock (January 8th, 9:30-10 PM, NBC)
30 Rock continues to become the next Will & Grace by having Salma Hayek and Peter Dinklage both guest star.

Grey's Anatomy (January 8th, 9-10 PM, ABC)
The surgeons have to work on a death row inmate, and it's not even a sweeps month? What are they saving up for February, an operation on Ghost Denny? Also, Jessica Capshaw joins the cast as a pediatric surgeon and a romantic interest for Callie (since she hasn't had enough this season).

24 (January 11th and 12th, 8-10 PM, Fox)
As it has the last two seasons, 24 will begin with a two-night, four hour premiere to kick things in motion. These year-old episodes see Jack on trial in DC for his actions after CTU has been shut down. But he gets off when the government needs him to stop Evil Back-From-the-Dead Tony Almeida from his terrorist activities. Also, there's a Lady Prez.

How I Met Your Mother (January 12th, 8:30-9 PM, CBS)
Reality stars taunt Marshall from a magazine, as they do to us all. Ted and Robin become friends with benefits. That should last about as long as it did for Jerry and Elaine.

The Office (January 15th, 9-9:30 PM, NBC)
I don't have an episode description, but expect fall-out over Phyllis telling the office about Dwight and Angela.

Battlestar Galactica (January 16th, 10-11 PM, Sci-Fi)
In the final season, Earth has been found, but now what? Will they try to live on that post-apocalyptic planet? Will the human/Cylon truce hold? And who is the last frakking Cylon?

Big Love (January 18th, 9-10 PM, HBO)
I still haven't seen season 2, so I got nothing on season 3. But this is when it premieres.

Flight of the Conchords (January 18th, 10-10:30 PM, HBO)
You could wait until January 18th to see Bret and Jermaine's newest adventures. Or you could go to Funnyordie.com and watch it now.

The United States of Tara (January 18th, 10-10:30 PM, Showtime, NEW SHOW)
Toni Collette (The Sixth Sense) plays a woman with multiple personality disorder. John Corbett (Sex and the City, Lucky) plays her husband. Steven Spielberg's producing. Diablo Cody (Juno) wrote the pilot. With all those big names and Showtime's recent hot streak (Weeds, Dexter), this is certainly worth checking out. But it is paired with the ultra-dull Secret Diary of a Call Girl, so who knows.

Lost (January 21st, 9-11 PM, ABC)
After a year of waiting, it's finally here. Lost is back. Season 5 will find Jack and Ben getting the Oceanic Six back together to return to the island while we learn just what "bad things" happened to those who stayed on the island. Those who have already seen the premiere say the new time-jumping device makes flashforwards seem like child's play. They also say it's awesome.

Lie to Me (January 21st, 9-10 PM, Fox, NEW SHOW)
Tim Roth (Pulp Fiction, The Incredible Hulk) plays a human lie detector that heads some special FBI agency. Is this just a lame procedural a la The Mentalist? Too early to tell, but it could be fun to see Tim Roth on TV.

Trust Me (January 26th, 10-11 PM, TNT, NEW SHOW)
If you've watched TNT at all in the last month, you've surely seen tons of ads for this new show in which Tom Cavanaugh (Ed) gets a new boss: his best friend, played by Eric McCormick (Will of Will & Grace). I have yet to get into TNT's other original shows (The Closer, Saving Grace), but the leads seem likable enough to make me want to give this one a try.

Heroes (February 2nd, 9-10 PM, NBC)
After season 3 got bogged down in too many characters and too little logic, why am I still watching this show? Well, cause season 4 looks kind of cool. After Nathan leaked word of the heroes to the government, the Hunter (Damages' Zeljko Ivanek) will start rounding them all up. Seems like a welcome break from the typical "stop big threat to save the world using lots of time traveling" formula. But the second it starts to lag, I'm out.

Dollhouse (February 13th, 9-10 PM, Fox, NEW SHOW)
In this new show from Joss Whedon (Buffy, Angel, Firefly), Eliza Dushku (Faith from Buffy) plays Echo. She works at a secret agency (is there any other kind?) as a blank slate, with personalities put into her depending on what her mission calls for. The show has suffered some bad early buzz, due to conflicts between Whedon and Fox and some production issues. But the plot sounds badass, and it's Joss freaking Whedon. If given time to grow, it can definitely stand with his previous classics.